Term | What it means |
640K barrier | the finish line in a mega-marathon |
access time | foreplay |
analog | what Ana tosses into the fire |
assembly language | put tab A into slot B, then put tab C... |
audit trail | what the IRS does |
bandwidth | limited by the size of the stage |
battery backup | going in reverse in a golf cart |
BBS | t-telling t-tall s-stories |
benchmark | what happens when your saw hits the bench |
broadband | an all female rock group |
cache memory | remembering how much you spent |
carrier detect | "I see the mail man!" |
CASE | 24 bottles |
Control Character | prison guard |
conventional memory | remembering what you did at the last convention |
copy protection | wearing a rubber |
copyright | opposite of copy wrong |
cursor | a garbage mouth |
daisy chain | a dog's leash |
DAT | the opposite of DIS |
deadly embrace | making love to King Kong |
delimiter | some who says, "Stop, that's enough" |
density | how to measure IQs of blondes |
dhrystones | the stones that were tossed out of the water |
DIP switch | how my sister gets a new boy friend |
dot pitch | "Dorothy winds ups, and delivers a knuckle ball" |
EBCDIC | similar to herpes |
EMS | happens just before PMS |
end user | a prisoner's cell mate |
escape sequence | Distract guard. Dig tunnel. Cut through fence |
Ethernet | used to catch Etherbunny |
fixed disk | a broken disk that comes back from the shop |
flash EPROM | what they have on 90210 (Flashy Proms) |
flat bed scanner | a hooker looking for loose change |
flat file | a file with all the air out of it |
full duplex | a 2-family house with 16 occupants |
groupware | clothes swapping |
hacker | a heavy smoker |
half-height drive | a midget's sexual capacity |
hand scanner | singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings |
heap | what I drive |
High density diskette | a very stupid floppy |
home computer | what you tell your computer when it follows you |
hypertext | text on amphetamines |
ink jet | a plane used for sky writing |
integrated circuit | a circuit with both black & white components |
joystick | (requires little explanation) |
local bus | stops at every intersection |
lost chains | euphoria experienced by the recently divorced |
low-level | language for basement programmers |
high-level | language for penthouse programmers |
machine dependency | an addiction of machine users |
mag tape | tape used on the wheels of cars |
mainframe | akin to "main squeeze" |
main memory | remembering where the water line is |
math coprocessor | the person you cheated from in math class |
megaflop | the worst play you ever saw |
minicomputer | the peer to Mickey's computer |
modem | what the gardener did to the lawns |
multi-sync | can be sunk more than once |
native mode | head hunting |
on-line | where the birds sit |
overlay | chickens making too many eggs |
pentium | the thing that swings back-and-forth on a clock |
plotter | a deceitful person |
postscript | grafitti on a pole |
protected memory | remembering to wear a condom |
record locking | what you do to your Beatles' White Album |
right justified | vs. wrongly justified |
software piracy | stealing a ship's program |
spreadsheet | a hooker's foreplay |
streaming tape | party decorations |
subroutine | not quite routine |
surge protector | a condom |
token ring | a group of people passing the bong |
trackball | what sprinters and runners often get |
twisted pair | tubes tied |
word wrap | rap music |
worksheet | a prostitutes office |
Ymodem | because, modem |